Recovery

Our country fell into a deep depression last year unlike any before. The depression was not economical, but materialized in a mental health crisis that has always existed beneath the veneer. Many turned to drugs or alcohol to cope, but for some, it only exacerbated the severe income inequality in our country. Furthermore, the pandemic caused many to lose their desire to progress because the future wasn't something worth fighting for. 

When our country entered the lockdown, most were ecstatic about their escape from work life and the opportunity to pursue new ambitions with their free time. But as the lockdown extended, many realized that they didn’t like their current lives; and without the constant flux of sociality, all they had was their own thoughts to keep them occupied with this sullen truth. 

But it wasn’t just the present, it was their newfound view of the future. Even with ample time and money, many had no aspirations to strive for. This antipathy drove many to search for something to keep themselves occupied, whether inebriated alone or with someone they thought they loved. Why drudge through the tunnel when the future isn’t any brighter? 

For many Americans, this endless tunnel is not pandemic driven, but just life. Last year, our country was inundated with stimulus, boosting investments to new highs and providing monetary relief for many through unemployment insurance. Yet, for a sect of the population, it only accentuated the everlong cycle of poverty. Those who need the most economical help are also those who lack a permanent address, a bank account, identification, access to the internet, or even a phone. Their lack of basic resources makes it hard for them to even apply for the benefits that the government offered. 

I met a person who was trying to apply for food stamps, but without an address or a car, he wasn’t able to receive a letter in time to make the meeting. We walked 3 hours to the post office just to get a notice for a phone meeting scheduled two days ago. Our government has been trying to ameliorate this cycle of poverty, but much of their investments in economic opportunities can’t be pragmatically utilized. Schools often have extracurricular programs to help kids succeed. But if a child’s day is filled with family instability and social bullying, these programs have no ability to pragmatically affect their desired audience. Rather, these programs only accentuate income inequality as only wealthy children could take advantage of such programs. Just like how the Covid vaccine primarily ended up in the hands of the affluent.

By the time these kids reach adulthood, the die has already been cast. Many college graduates flowed right into well-paying jobs with strong opportunities for advancement. Yet, those who weren’t able to follow this path, ended up saddled with debt working retail. They don’t have the options to escape poverty, because they never had a fair chance to try. And when their present and future is filled with meaningless work, why not escape to marijuana and whiskey? When there isn’t an end to the tunnel, why keep walking?

Progression is difficult because doing so doesn’t make your life much happier. Drugs and alcohol provide reprieve from a mundane life, even if only temporarily. Yet, they are only a distraction that procrastinates the inevitable recovery that we must face. No matter how deep we've dug, the only way to get out is to start climbing. 

I’m not ready to make nice with everything that happened. I can’t just let it go. But instead of succumbing, I want to roar. I want to build an empire, rejuvenate the Earth, cure cancer, feed the world, protect the environment, fly into space, explore the universe, populate the stars, and provide everyone the right to a worthy life. 

I’m ready to roar as loud as I possibly can, to tell the whole world that we survived, and the worst depths only gave us strength to the future gifted to us. We might be beaten down, tied up, and left to die, but we aren’t a generation that just lies down and whimpers. We will crawl across the desert, bloodied, bruised, and broken, but sure as hell we are too proud to give up.

I still hold on to resentments from the past, but instead of letting anger deride into recklessness and hate, I’d rather throw my passion into a pride of my own choosing. Maybe the only reason I want to roar is to give solace to my own ego, to believe the lies I tell myself, to fulfill the prophecies destined to us beyond our wills. Even if we secretly acknowledge that this is all a coping mechanism that our minds play to reconcile aspirations with reality, we still have to believe. Because if we don’t play to win, we can only lose.

I’m not ready to make nice, but I’m ready to move forward.